gratitude « Surviving Narcissism

Posts Tagged: gratitude

Mom, Why Would Somebody Hack Your Site?

“You guys, the site was hacked.”

“What do ya mean?”

“Somebody found a way to get into the site and change the coding.”

“How do ya know?”

“Aunt Pat called. She said she tried to open a post through Google Reader and the link to the post said something about Viagra. The Google search results are saying the site may be compromised.”

“What’s Viagra?”

“It’s a prescription a man might take to make his penis hard.”

“Why would a guy do that?”

“So he can have sex, I guess.”

“You need a prescription to have sex?”

“Nevermind.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I’ll have to fix it. Maybe it’s time to start over.”

“But mom, the blog has helped you and us and other people. You’ve been working on that for three years.”

“It’ll be okay, mom. You lead a charmed life, remember.”

“Thanks, guys, but you don’t need to worry about this. This is my thing to sweat about.”

“It’ll be okay, mom. I just know it.”

“Mom, you know that stuff you were saying about Mercury in Retrograde? Is it that?”

“It fits, dontcha think.”

“Why would somebody want to put Viagra on your site?”

“I dunno, honey.”

“Why would somebody hack your site?”

“I dunno.”

“That’s dumb.”

“That’s mean.”

“I know.”

Child of Narcissist / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 8 Comments
24
Jul 12

Notes From a Summer Getaway

You may be thinking that you need a prescription, but it could be that you need to drive a road that lazily winds around a mountain lake. Roll the windows down and sing to the Doobie Brothers.*

Kids don’t need DVD players or iPads if one of ’em has a fishing pole, the other has a floaty mattress for playing in the lake and they both have nets for catching minnows.

Moms don’t need laptops, internet connection or a day at the spa if they have a good friend to chat with and reservations for dinner.

The withdrawals from that lack of internet connection last about four hours. Fill the void with Cheetos and red wine. It’ll pass. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Lack of Empathy / Quotes / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 9 Comments
3
Jul 12

When He Cries

Beware of men who cry.
It’s true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings,
but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with
are their own.

– Nora Ephron

Beware the man who, when you tell him you’re leaving your husband, starts to cry and lament the fact that his wife left him five years ago.

Beware the man who, when surrounded by the beauty of his own children, sheds “happy” tears about a stranger’s five year old daughter who sat on his lap and kissed his cheek.

Embrace the man who gazes at you and tears up because he knows his life is blessed by your presence; and he makes it his mission to never let you feel taken for granted.

Child of Narcissist / Random Observations / Stories — 6 Comments
25
Jun 12

It was her job to load the splitter, catch the split logs and pass them to the stacker. They developed a rhythm as they worked, stopping only to drink water or wipe sweaty brows. They enjoyed a sense of accomplishment, congratulating each other as the stack grew. The hard work earned them the beers they would enjoy on the deck that afternoon.

Logs with knots were tricky for the splitter. She’d learned that when a log doesn’t split all the way because of a knot, she could lift the log over her head and slam it down on the ground with all her might. The force would split the log in two.

Sometimes.

That trick didn’t always work.

Some logs were tougher than others. Continue reading →

Moving On / My Minimalism / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 17 Comments
14
Jun 12

The Best Kind of Party

Grab a pen. We’re going to plan a party.

Really.

This’ll be fun.

What if you planned your life like you would plan the ultimate party?

Wait…. don’t tell me you hate planning parties. That’s probably because you think that you have to invite certain people, serve particular foods and drinks, provide a sparkling evening that will please everyone and clean up the mess when it’s over. Continue reading →

Control / Lack of Empathy / Moving On / My Minimalism / Recipes / Tools — 22 Comments
8
Jun 12

The Secret Ingredient in My Low-Tech Cappuccino

The froth is the perfect warmth as it clings to my lips. The nutmeg tastes earthy. The espresso is strong enough without stealing the show from the froth. And the sugar…. oh…

Starting the day with cappuccino is a fine way to practice a little self-care. This is indulgence with a kick.

Low-Tech Cappuccino

1/3 C 2% milk
3 T finely ground espresso or dark roast
1 t sugar – rounded and spilling over
pinch of nutmeg or cinnamon or both

Continue reading →

Quotes / Tools — 4 Comments
29
May 12

On Clandestine Messages

Enter each day with the expectation that the happenings of the day may contain a clandestine message addressed to you personally. Expect omens, epiphanies, casual blessings, and teachers who unknowingly speak to your condition.

– Sam Keen

Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 11 Comments
1
May 12

A Tale of Manifesting

“Mom, didn’t you say you were going to take us to a play about Camelot?”

I’d lost the note I’d written. At the beginning of April, I’d discovered a college production of a funny version of King Arthur and Camelot. I’d forgotten to buy tickets and the date was fast approaching. “Will, I’m glad you reminded me. I’ll get online and find out where to get tickets after we get back from the hardware store.”

__________

We’d gone to Home Depot under the guise of exploring options for a homeowner repair. We came home with a pile of seed packets instead.

They each got to select a couple different packets for their corner of the garden. Jenny selected celosia, forget-me-nots and celery. She doesn’t actually like celery but her imaginary friend does. Will selected a packet of habanero seeds and sweet onions. I picked basil, California Poppies, hollyhocks, and nasturtiums. I’m sure there were more in there. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Quotes / Random Observations — 13 Comments
18
Apr 12

It Isn’t Fair But It Is Good

We’d gone in search of lavender fleece. We came home with jewelry making supplies, three unpainted birdhouses in need of jazz, and half a yard of turquoise fleece for, “You know, mom…. more projects.”

The idea was that each of us would paint a birdhouse.

Will and Jen are coming out of that blissful phase of thinking everything they do is fantastic. They are starting to compare their creations to others. But for right now they still relish the act of creating. That means they get out the paints, sit down on the floor and go to it.

Without a plan.

Without first sketching, erasing, sketching again or starting over. Continue reading →

Moving On / Quotes / Random Observations / Tools — 16 Comments
5
Apr 12

Perspective

My breathing is loud. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. I can’t remember if this is the sixth or seventh lap.

Does it even matter how many times I climb this hill, just as long as I get out here and move?

I get to the top and survey the river. Through the pounding I hear my thoughts:

You are reaching for the cheaters more than you used to.
Maybe it’s age that keeps you from remembering how many times you’ve walked up the hill.
Remember when your ass was below your waist and not behind your knees?
You ought to have given more thought to what it would be like to physically keep up with two young kids at the age of 50.
When did you get to the age where Mom Jeans are comfortable?
Isn’t it time to consider coloring your hair?

I head down the hill and wonder if this upcoming birthday could quietly sneak away in the night without anyone in my family doing anything about it. Through huffs and puffs, I laugh at myself because I know it’s not so much about the day, as it is about my perceptions of what it’s like to be turning 50. Continue reading →

Moving On / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 6 Comments
16
Mar 12

That’s Not My Journey

We may walk hand in hand for a time, or we may know each other only briefly.

We’ll share many of the same turns and detours.

We’ll marvel at the beauty found in the connection we share.

I may pull your rolling red Samsonite for a stretch, and you might offer to carry my fraying black backpack.

I will empathize and address your concerns with compassion. I will hand you tissues when you cry and pour the wine while you laugh so hard you can’t hold your glass.

I will listen while you detail the reasons for your choices. We’ll both smile and nod when we realize we’ve made similar mistakes.

We’ll learn lessons from each other that we wouldn’t be able to learn from another.

I’ll be the first to pat you on the back. Though I instinctively brush off your kind words, I’ll try to remember to be gracious.

Neither of us may know where we are going, but I will not follow you.

That’s not my journey.

Parenting / Random Observations — 12 Comments
13
Mar 12

Riding With Tigger and Marcel

She’ll pick up her school papers and take herself off to her room to work. He has never willingly gone to his room. In fact, when she goes to her room, he follows her and only stops when his nose comes within inches of her closed door.

He walks around the house while brushing his teeth. When he’s in the bathroom, he’s singing. It doesn’t occur to her to sing in the bathroom.

He likes to know what the plan is, what we are going to have for lunch and dinner, and whether we will be having company. She wants to be left to wing-it, she has to be reminded to eat, and she’s cool with not having anyone over for days at a time.

When he’s working on a project, he’ll stop in the middle to brainstorm a new project. She doesn’t think about what’s next, because she’s so deeply immersed in what she’s doing now.

He’s the first to make us laugh with a joke or a funny voice. She’s the first to come up with a new painting technique. Continue reading →

Moving On / Parenting / Seeing My Path — 21 Comments
12
Feb 12

Be Mine

Dear Valentine,

I’ve been waiting for you.

I knew you’d come around.

I knew you’d get to a point where you’d finally see your own beauty. I knew that chip on your shoulder would heal and the anger would dissipate.

There is so much of you to love.

Your tender, compassionate heart never lets you give up. Your enthusiasm and belief that goodness will prevail is a contagious quality. The wisdom acquired from making mistakes and the lessons learned gives you a depth of character that is your most attractive quality.

You are graceful but still able to be silly; patient as well as spontaneous; and ready to laugh at yourself because you stopped taking yourself seriously.

You know you still have a lot to learn, and you aren’t afraid to change course in order to learn more.

Your actions back up your words. You’ve stated your priorities and you invest your time and energies in those priorities. You are an inspiration because of the choices you’ve made.

You are beautiful when you run around in your leopard print bathrobe and fuzzy red socks in the morning, before a shower, sipping cold coffee because you are busy with kids, feeding the cat, answering emails, stoking the fire, figuring out what to make for dinner, and swapping loads between washer and dryer.

You are beautiful when, with a kind voice, you announce that you need a break, and escape to the couch with a book and a steaming cup of Earl Grey.

You are beautiful flying down a ski hill, laughing at your own failed attempts at trying to catch your kids.

You are beautiful when you give what you can, but hold back before reaching the point of having nothing left to give.

You are beautiful when you cry during mushy movies, at the end of a great book, or when you look on your kids’ artwork.

You are beautiful when you let your kids follow their passions, even if it means you have sprouting potatoes in glasses of water in the window sill, ski wax all over the garage floor, and paint brushes in every corner of the kitchen.

You are beautiful when you try and fail and own your mistakes with grace and humor.

You are most beautiful when you keep trying without letting resentment cloud your heart or disappointment keep your spirit hidden.

I love that even on a crappy day, you are capable of finding beauty in stormy skies, piles of clean folded laundry, and a dinner that manages to please three different appetites.

I love the person you are now, but I also love knowing that you haven’t arrived yet. I can’t wait to see who you become.

I love that you’ve chosen to be kind to yourself. I love that you know what you are worth and what you deserve.

Anyone would be fortunate to call you Valentine.

Won’t you be mine?

Moving On / Random Observations / Seeing My Path / Tools — 21 Comments
31
Jan 12

What Lifts You Up?

He said, “Mom, why do you think I’m outta sorts today?”

I said, “Maybe you’re wishing we had snow. Maybe this is the pre-dad visit funk. Maybe you need to eat something. Or, maybe it’s just one of those days.”

And because the hot water of the shower has a way of warming my skull and opening my brain to the current of ideas that passes in and around this house, I came out of the bathroom with an inspired thought.