Homeschool « Surviving Narcissism

Homeschool

Child of Narcissist / Homeschool / Kids are People / Moving On / Parenting / Postcards From a Thriver — 6 Comments
3
Jan 17

The Pep Talk

I winced when I heard the door slam on 2016, and I’m the one who slammed it so hard.

Three days into this new year and I’m still wincing. I’m apprehensive, unsteady, exhausted and excited – all at the same time. The holidays took over kicking my butt, where 2016 left off. I spent so much time talking about being glad 2016 was over, that I’m nervous about that energy following me into 2017. You know what they say, “Whatever you talk about, you attract.”

I read a “motivational” post the other day that pointed out that all that complaining about 2016 is misdirected. The writer went on to say that we ought to be reevaluating the choices made in 2016 that led to the messes, and make damn sure to point ourselves in a new direction.

That hurt a bit when I read that. So all that was my fault? Really? Don’t tell me to pull up my big girl pants. I hate that expression. As a single mom, I’ve been the one wearing the pants since day one.

But it’s true. It is my fault. I made the choices. I created that gigantic mess. Continue reading →

Homeschool / Kids are People / Parenting / Postcards From a Thriver — 1 Comment
12
Mar 16

Homeschool at the Movies

“Let’s watch The Martian.”

“Isn’t that like three hours long? I won’t be able to stay awake.”

“Mom. It’s o-kay.” He says that in a way that indicates he’s impatient with me, and trying to keep his eyes from rolling. It’s annoying – probably something he picked up from me.

“And The Incredible Hulk, too?”

“Jen? Really?” Continue reading →

Homeschool / Kids are People / Parenting — 3 Comments
4
Jun 15

School’s Out!

School’s out for summer! The bell rang at 10:48 this morning.

Will and I discussed the last of his papers, and that marked the end for him. Jen finished last Wednesday after getting an A on her math final.

And so we are done for another year.

Whew!

Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Homeschool — 3 Comments
30
Mar 15

Keeping Our Heads Above Water

We are paddling like crazy and keeping our heads above water.

Barely.

We’ve been paddling through some expected stuff; and we’ve held our breath and maneuvered some unexpected stuff. The water has been pretty choppy lately.

To be fair, there have been some calm pools that allow us to float on our backs, feel the warmth of the sun, and catch our breath. The bitter and the sweet must be what they mean by balance?

When it comes to homeschool… ha! There are no better lessons than the ones that have been handed down lately. Continue reading →

Homeschool / Kids are People / Parenting / Postcards From a Thriver — 2 Comments
12
Jan 15

How To Start Your Homeschool Morning Peacefully

“How’d you sleep?” I set my coffee down to get up and start her chocolate milk.

“Good. How ’bout you?” She curls up in her corner of the couch and Nina saunters over to take her share of the blanket.

I start heating the milk and then walk into the living room. “Any dreams?”

“No. You?”

“Yeah. I’ll tell ya when Will’s up.” At this point, I walk back into the kitchen. She’s an introvert like I am. I know she needs quiet and time to ease in in the morning. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Homekeeping / Homeschool / Postcards From a Thriver / Random Observations / Tools — 16 Comments
23
Jun 14

homekeeping 10

It seems I’ve entered my Nanny McPhee Period when grey hairs corkscrew from the top of my head and adult onset acne gets comfortable and refuses to leave. I know this isn’t a beauty blog, but I’ve discovered a couple products that have made this phase slightly less Nanny McPhee-like, and it wouldn’t be right not to share.

I haven’t the bravery to Google – “How Long Will I Keep Getting Periods” – because if there’s a woman out there who is still getting periods well into her senior years, I don’t want to know about her. I don’t want to know that I could be that empty-nest woman, in her 60s (because I will be close to 60 by the time Jen leaves, if she decides to do so), traveling to Italy, sipping red wine at a lovely cafe and having to excuse herself from the intelligent conversation at the quaint bistro table for two because she’s having a “period” emergency.

I can handle many things, but I’m not sure I want to know how long I’ll have to deal with periods. No, I won’t be doing hormone replacement therapy. I’m the anti-chemical, left-over hippy, who doesn’t put anything on her lawn, doesn’t own a microwave, and has never colored her hair. I will not be taking some sort of chemical supplement to help me through this phase, even if that would keep my kids from wanting to kill me or move into their dad’s house once a month. (Come to think of it, my mood swings are sure to bring about that empty nest.)

Primrose Oil has kept my kids from packing their bags. I don’t know why it works. I don’t care. It keeps me from wanting to slash the neighbor’s tires when he leaves his car running while he’s in his house obviously looking for his car keys. Primrose oil keeps me from hiding under the covers until my period passes. I love this stuff. If I’m telling you about it, that means it works. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Homeschool / Moving On / Postcards From a Thriver — 7 Comments
29
May 14

“We Were Brainwashed!”

“Hey! Nice to see you! Isn’t this new play structure wonderful?”

“Do you live around here?” She helped one of her two navigate the climbing wall.

“Yes, that house on the corner. How about you?”

She pointed in the opposite direction and said they lived that way. “Geez, I guess the last time I saw you was at the grocery store? How’ve you been? Is Jen playing hooky today?”

“We’ve been homeschooling for about four years now.” I turned to watch Jen navigate the monkey bars. Continue reading →

Homekeeping / Homeschool / Parenting — 12 Comments
8
Apr 14

When the Organized, Independent, Single Mom Drops the Ball

“Mom, you know what I noticed about you? You are organized.”

I have to be organized.

I know when the cat needs shots; when to change the furnace filter; the best time to plant sweet pea seeds (weather permitting); and when the frog needs his (or her?) water changed. Continue reading →

Homeschool / Random Observations — 2 Comments
3
Mar 14

Signs of Cabin Fever

Cabin fever makes me cut my hair, even though the results from the last seven home haircuts were arguable. The money I save from not getting a professional cut is diverted to gas for trips to the ski hill where I wear a hat and no one would see my fabulous haircut anyway.

Cabin fever explains irrational justifications.

Cabin fever makes me reach for the fettuccine as I re-cap the last seven dinners and realize I’ve been serving variations of pasta or tortillas since September.

Cabin fever makes Will beg me to take him for a Blizzard at Dairy Queen when the thermometer reads -12. Continue reading →

Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting — 2 Comments
11
Apr 13

Lessons From a Day in the Life of a Single, Stay-At-Home, Homeschooling, Happy Mom

“What I’d like to know is how old does a person have to be
before they get to do all the fun stuff?”

– R L LaFevers, Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos

“One of you grab the iPad and look up stele. Check out the images.”

“Can we read another chapter? Please?”

“You’ve gotta get on your list if you wanna have time to hang with your BFF. Same for you, Will, if you want to make a tee time.”

“Can drawing a stele be on my list today?”

“After worksheets are done, you can draw.” Continue reading →

Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations / Tools — 4 Comments
19
Feb 13

Getting To Mindful

I’d swear my body was in the chair next to the fire. I could see the cat curled under the wood stove. Will was wearing a head lamp, while sitting in the rocking chair. Jen was camped in her favorite corner. They were both quietly reading.

I was reading a myth from Women Who Run With the Wolves, and I lost track of time and place. I was completely immersed in the story, focused on the words on the page. I finished a chapter, looked up from the book and glanced around to see what I had missed.

They didn’t notice. Apparently, it’s easier for kids to get lost in books. I’d forgotten what that was like.

I didn’t think about having to feed the wood stove or break up a fight between kids. The television wasn’t blaring, the dishes were done. There was no other place to take my mind to.

It was delicious. Continue reading →

Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Recipes — 5 Comments
14
Nov 12

Recipe For Creative Children

Take:

One pair of Shrinky Dink twin tip skis
One enthusiastically supportive uncle
One girl’s unstoppable imagination
Two peanuts, still in their shell
Fuzzy yarn, aluminum foil, a Sharpie, cocktail toothpicks in fun colors, and a hot glue gun
One mom who has the good sense to stay out of the way.

Mix together without criticism, judgment, hovering or micro-managing on the part of adults.

Judiciously add laughter, warm-hearted teasing, big smiles and ice cubes for fingers that get in a tangle with the glue gun.

Include dollops of encouragement and one chunk of unscheduled time.

Result: A kid who finds positive energy and self-confidence when expressing herself through her own creativity. (She’ll make happy memories with her uncle, too.)

Child of Narcissist / Control / Homeschool / Lack of Empathy / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 13 Comments
9
Nov 12

What is Said and What is Heard

He said: Your face looks full with that haircut.

She heard: Your face looks fat; I hate your haircut.

She said: That looks pretty good, but you should have done it this way.

He heard: That looks pretty good, BUT …

They said: Are you sure it’s a good idea to homeschool the kids?

She heard: You’re going to ruin them for life.

He said: I can’t live like this anymore.

She heard: Do things my way or I’m out of here.

He said: I don’t care what we do, you decide.

She heard: I don’t enjoy spending time with you enough to make the effort to decide.

She said: I don’t care what we do, you decide.

He heard: It’s okay if you spend the evening with friends; I won’t be mad if you don’t come home.

He said: That’s okay, bud, I’ll have the shop wax my skis.

He heard: You aren’t capable of waxing my skis.

He said: Maybe you shouldn’t be so sensitive.

She heard: If you didn’t get your feelings hurt so easily, I wouldn’t have to be careful about what I say.

They said: You should write blog posts that are this long, on this many days with these kinds of headings.

She heard: You are doing it all wrong.

He said: I like it better when you do it this way.

She heard: I don’t like you the way you are.

She said: I heard you, but we are doing it my way.

He heard: Don’t bother telling me what you want because I’m not listening anyway.

She said: Pack your bags, we’re going to stay at grandma’s.

They heard: We are going to live with people who let us be who we are.

They said: Love you.

She heard: Love you.

Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting — 8 Comments
10
Aug 12

On Getting Out of Their Way

“Is it okay if I make a cake from scratch?”

“Yeah, honey, that’s okay. Are you okay if I work on this mess?”

“Sure! Then I can have the kitchen to myself.”

She asked a couple questions, pulled out the canisters and remembered to keep the dry ingredients separate from the wet.

“How much flour should I add?” Continue reading →

Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 11 Comments
1
May 12

A Tale of Manifesting

“Mom, didn’t you say you were going to take us to a play about Camelot?”

I’d lost the note I’d written. At the beginning of April, I’d discovered a college production of a funny version of King Arthur and Camelot. I’d forgotten to buy tickets and the date was fast approaching. “Will, I’m glad you reminded me. I’ll get online and find out where to get tickets after we get back from the hardware store.”

__________

We’d gone to Home Depot under the guise of exploring options for a homeowner repair. We came home with a pile of seed packets instead.

They each got to select a couple different packets for their corner of the garden. Jenny selected celosia, forget-me-nots and celery. She doesn’t actually like celery but her imaginary friend does. Will selected a packet of habanero seeds and sweet onions. I picked basil, California Poppies, hollyhocks, and nasturtiums. I’m sure there were more in there. Continue reading →