When I brew a cup of tea, Jenny runs over to stand next to my cup. Her turned-up nose hovers over the steam as she inhales deeply. She loves the smell of tea but isn’t fond of the taste. She often asks if she can dunk my tea bag while she watches the hot water take on the soft yellow of Chamomile. She likes knowing the color comes from flower petals. Continue reading →
Lack of Empathy
26
Apr 12
Selective Attention and Homemade Tea Bags
15
Apr 12
The Crux of the Matter
Me: “He’s demonstrated that he is more than willing to put in the time. When other kids his age beg to play Xbox, he searches the internet for tips on golf swings. Clearly, this is one of his top three passions – it may be the thing he is most passionate about. We’ve been told by a couple instructors that he is blessed with some natural talent. We don’t spend money on soccer or baseball or football or guitar or karate. I really think it’s time we get him some lessons and support him in this thing he loves.”
Him: “My parents would never have done that for me.”
2
Apr 12
He Might Be A Narcissist If …
… before you were married, he said flattering things about the way you dressed and the clever way you put yourself together. After marriage, he tells you how he never liked boots with skirts, and that you shouldn’t wear your hair short because it makes your face look full. Continue reading →
9
Mar 12
Things That Can Be Fixed
Jenny fixes a too gaudy Barbie dress by altering it. She cuts off the flouncy sleeves and shortens the train. She might use tape or thread or buttons, but she knows she can fix it. She’ll even fix Barbie’s hair with snips here and there. Continue reading →
9
Jan 12
They Look Through You
Whether it comes from years of looking inward, or years of not seeing clearly, I don’t know. Their eyes take on a cloudiness that makes it look like they have a difficult time focusing on the rest of the world. Continue reading →
5
Jan 12
The Day She Gave Up On Herself
She hadn’t planned to turn her back on herself. She didn’t wake up one morning and say, “This feels like the right day to put myself aside for this relationship.” Continue reading →
31
Oct 11
Scary
Scary is having your son’s 1st grade teacher ask you if there are problems at home that might explain your son’s nervous tic.
Scary is loosing contact with family and friends because your husband doesn’t like you to keep in touch over the phone or have company come for dinner.
Scary is not being able to sleep because you fear the treatment you’ll receive the next day because you will – once again – disappoint him and fail to meet his expectations.
Scary is believing that you have done something to bring about the treatment you are receiving.
Scary is staring out the window while sipping the morning’s first cup of coffee and realizing that the emptiness you feel every day is what you are going to feel for the rest of your life, if you don’t get out of this situation.
Scary is realizing you have forgotten who you are.
Scary is finally getting the courage to write him a letter explaining your fears and desperation, only to have him tell you that the issues are yours and he’ll support you in your efforts to fix them.
Scary is believing you don’t deserve any better.
Scary is knowing that your husband can’t see his own children for who they are, but tries to mold them into what he wants them to be.
Scary is knowing that if you stay, your children’s spirits will be snuffed out.
Scary is feeling so frightened and desperate that you pack your bags and leave the house you’ve lived in for thirteen years without having a backup plan.
Scary is knowing everyone thinks you are crazy for leaving such a wonderful person.
Scary is getting out, and fearing you’ll end up in another relationship with a narcissist.
14
Oct 11
A Different Version of Normal
At his address, the toys are neatly put away, the art supplies stay tucked in the cupboard and the towels are folded the minute the dryer buzzes. Continue reading →
3
Oct 11
Serendipity in a Story
Through tears she asked, “How come he says other kids do things well, but he can’t say that about me? How come he doesn’t think I’m great? What do I have to do to get him to say those things about me?” Continue reading →
