Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Lack of Empathy
1
Mar 10
No One Can Cut Your Shadow In Half
“How did you sleep?” “Did you have any dreams?” Each morning begins the same way. While rubbing eyes and stretching long thin arms, we ask each other how the night was. We’ve talked about dreams since the kids could talk, or since they first started having dreams. I can’t remember which came first. When Jen was little, she felt left out if Will and I were discussing our dreams, and she didn’t have a dream to share. I don’t know if she just couldn’t remember, or if she had a hard time with the difference between dreams and reality. When it was her turn to talk about her dream she’d always say, “It was about a snowman.” And that was it. Continue reading →
26
Feb 10
Narcissism Sucks
A wise woman once said, “narcissists suck.” I’ve spent some time on her blog. It’s a deep, dark, cavernous hole of information. I would caution you to be careful before spending much time there. You may learn more than you really want to know. Continue reading →
7
Feb 10
The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Narcissist
Eight years ago on Super Bowl Sunday, I was two months pregnant with Jenny, and I had round-the-clock morning sickness. To this day, I tell Jenny that she was worth every trip to the bathroom. One of my favorite pictures is a shot of me, looking awful from the morning all day sickness, holding a gallon-sized container of Atomic Fireballs. There’s something about the hot spicy jawbreakers that kept the sickness at bay. They were an absolute lifesaver. I had an Atomic Fireball in my mouth for 7 months. Poor Will was going on four years old. He got used to me hanging out in the bathroom. In fact, after Jenny was born, I was doing something, let out a cough, and I heard Will say, “Mommy, are you throwing up again?” Anyway, we had been invited to a Super Bowl Party. I was sitting in a chair, trying to summon up the strength to put on my shoes. I did not want to go to the party, but I didn’t want to disappoint Mark and Will. I looked at Mark and said, “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t go. I feel like all I’ve been doing is trying to simply exist.” He looked at me, let out a sigh of frustration and said, “Well, that is all you’ve been doing.” Continue reading →
22
Jan 10
Children of Narcissists Take Detailed Notes
Winter forgot about us for a couple weeks — long enough for the snow to melt and the birds to enjoy pretending that it might really be over. But, winter made an impressive return today. Apparently it’s wanting to remind us just who the boss really is. I had asked my young cousin if he might be able to split the rest of our wood. I’m hoping it gets us through the rest of the season. Will loves the opportunity to hang with an older guy, strut around with a hatchet in his hand, and have an excuse to drink coffee. Continue reading →
14
Jan 10
The Insidiousness of Narcissism
I’m tired tonight. I’m that kind of tired where I tell myself, “It’s okay if you go to bed without brushing your teeth. No one will know. You never do that.” Except — I remember telling myself that one night last week, too. Mark was here for a visit this afternoon. It drains the energy out of all three of us. After he leaves, we snip at each other. We lose patience with each other. We all know that it happens, and yet we have to remind ourselves to relax. Continue reading →
24
Dec 09
Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum
I have got to lighten up. I seem to have misplaced my sense of humor. Perhaps I’ll discover it under the pile of gifts yet to be wrapped. Maybe it’s at the bottom of a mug of eggnog laced with rum. (Yuk. Why do people drink sweetened, pre-scrambled eggs? Just give me the rum.) Yesterday Jenny asked me why my eyes were purple. I said, “I was crying.” She said, “How come you were crying, Mommy?” I scooped her up, twirled her around, and excitedly told her, “Because it’s Christmas, Silly.” Doesn’t everybody cry at Christmas? She has watched me sniffle at Hallmark commercials. I’ll let her think that I’m crying for all the mushy reasons that people might get teary over, at this time of the year. Continue reading →
31
Oct 09
Can You Connect With A Narcissist?
My brother has these big, chocolate brown eyes and when he is conversing with you, his eyes are focused on you and nothing else. His gaze is warm and welcoming. He doesn’t make you feel like you are being interrogated. Rather, he makes you feel comfortable and accepted. My sister-in-law laughs when she talks of how my brother knows everyone in their neighborhood, their dog’s name, and who might be ready for a pick-up game of racquetball. He can be intense – in a good way. You get the feeling that he is interested in what you have to say, and he wants to know more. Continue reading →
